niente

i got nuffin' but cramps and a cranky mood.

i'm bored. and much more importantly, boring. i'm getting tired of myself; moping, sad, tired. my boyfriend pointed out to me recently that "i'm not really myself right now" is not the most useful way of putting things - that this IS me, under extroardinary circumstances. i still don't like it. i don't like short-term memory failure. i don't like having difficulty speaking when the thoughts are there and i can't seem to make my mouth move.


the kubler-ross model of grief stages outlines five:


denial

anger

bargaining

depression

acceptance

need to figure out what i need to do to get to the acceptance part because the depression shit is getting old.