as the immune system turns

i'm getting better.

my body temperaure is higher and my skin texture has improved. the puffiness around my eyes from thickened tears that don't drain properly has gone away. i wake in the morning feeling mostly ok. i still crash in the afternoon and i suppose that's something i'll have to live with for another 2 to 4 weeks, but i'm at least 80% mended. as my metabolism/thermostat/energy goes up, my need for stimulants has waned:

i stopped taking Ritalin about 4 weeks ago. maybe 3. i felt on the verge of a panic attack the last day i took it.

after stopping Ritalin, my coffee consumption has gradually decreased by at least half.

and now it's time to wean off Wellbutrin. i'm experiencing a searing pain on the left side of my jaw from clenching it so hard, and i know it to be a side effect from past years' experience. it's too bad - for depression and mild anxiety, it's a great treatment, but i don't think my body can deal with it anymore.

i have to go to the dentist tomorrow. two old fillings are coming out and two new ones are going in.

i've dropped another 2 pounds.

i've lost my employee ID badge. not the end of the world because replacing it means i get a picture that looks like me. the old picture was taken when i weighed 225.